Several of my clients this past week were feeling some anxiety and “stuckness” and were initially unable to zero in on what was at the root of it.  When I am Power Coaching a client I use left brain and right brain questions to help them get answers that will help them to move forward.  Certain questions helped them this week, a couple of them went like this:

“Can you remember a time in the past when everything was going great and/or this situation or feeling was not an issue?”  In the case of my clients this week, they were able to identify times when these situations were great, or the situation was not occurring.

Then I asked “What were you doing differently and/or what was happening in your life that is different from today?”  Instantly they were able to identify how things were different then, from attitudes, work, people, age and more.  Once they accessed that information they were able to see areas to focus on to move forward and make a plan to start turning things around.

Interestingly, not just one client realized that what was clearly different was their level of involvement in caring for others, community involvement or both.  Maybe they had kids to focus on then, but the kids have since left the house and that space has not been re-filled with something meaningful.  This happens a lot for people who are really involved in their kids lives– having kids around automatically gets you out into the community.  And taking care of kids in general has such meaning to it.  Maybe there was an ill loved one that was being cared for, or there was a big involvement in a non-profit or other meaningful outlet for time and energy.  Whichever it was for them, they quickly realized that they had begun to focus too much on their own lives and and everything had become centered on them.  They were no longer giving to those around them and to the community.  Absence of giving can leave a hole in your life.

  Another interesting aspect I notice with those who are not giving (and these are perfectly wonderful, nice people mind you) is that they are not receiving either.  Not allowing the gifts that others would like to provide to them.  They say no to everything from someone trying to help them with their groceries to someone wanting to buy their dinner.

Giving and receiving are a circle, one as necessary to the other.  If you are feeling out of balance you can take a look for yourself- How often are you allowing others to give to you?  How often are you giving of yourself, your time to someone/something outside of yourself?

What’s your plan?  In the next week notice how many times people offer to do something for you- and play a game- say yes to every one of them.  Also, notice opportunities to help others- you know that little voice inside your head, listen to it and act.

As always, I am thankful to my clients for inspiring me!

PS- If you want to hold the door for me, or buy me lunch, I am willing to say yes!