I was recently working with a great group who shows up ready to learn and make changes. They are interested in growing and becoming the best versions of themselves. I appreciate working with people like that.
This time we were investigating the idea of increasing the resilience in our lives and how it can help you to create more serenity and enjoyment in our lives. How about you, what do you think of when you see the word resilience?
In the dictionary you will find a definition like this: the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties. Toughness.
Resilience is something every person can increase with intention and there generally seem to be seven areas to draw on in order to increase resilient:
-Emotional regulation
-Impulse control
-Empathy
-Optimism
-Reaching out
-Self efficacy
-Causal analysis
While each area is worthy of exploring individually, I want to share just three impactful points of many that were important for the group I was working with.
- A great statement to ponder for its truth to you that comes from Karen Reivich’s book The Resilience Factor “When a problem arises, I think carefully about what caused it before I attempt to solve it.” We talk a lot about pausing with this group- and it is a powerful habit to get into, which allows you to think carefully, in this case. This means taking responsibility for your part as well as looking for outside causes.
- A powerful question when reflecting on what did happen and how I can deal with a situation like it in the future is to ask “what did I miss early on?” Retracing your steps to see what you were not paying attention to can hold valuable information for you.
- Adapting quickly is a trait that resilient people share. This means apologizing quickly, restrategizing quickly and not being rigid with expectations. It means having a both/and mentality and remaining emotionally flexible, as well.
Start by looking at these three points- there are many more to consider- what is your area of opportunity? Where are you at with it today? Where would you like to be ultimately and what is a first step you can take to move forward?
If this topic interests you, and I hope it does, there are many books, courses and articles out there- I encourage you to explore. Being curious is another trait that resilient people share and I invite you to use your curiosity to try something new and also reflect on your past.
What challenges have you already gotten through in your life? Make a list. How did you bounce back? That is your homework this week. Give yourself the recognition for what you have done. And enjoy the process. Be real with yourself, but not hard on yourself.