Have you ever noticed when something doesn’t go well, everything else starts to go in the same direction? This happens especially when something difficult or uncomfortable happens that you weren’t expecting. Why is this? I know the answer for me- it’s my mindset. It is where my head can go- suddenly I can start questioning and doubting almost anything- and it has NOTHING to do with what just happened! It can shake my confidence and before I know it I am in the proverbial tailspin. Can anyone out there relate?
I am happy to say that I have gotten to the point of recognizing the tailspin and I am concious of what is happening. It wasn’t always that way- I could spend days or weeks in the tailspin- until I got tired enough of it to declare- enough! Now it is much shorter because I see it for what it is. STILL, I need to work to get out of it, it doesn’t just happen.
So, how do you get out of the tailspin? Just like in a car, you have to figure out how to get under control. To get my mind back under control, I have learned to ask myself a few questions:
What is the truth of the situation? I write this down- what is really going on?
What other areas am I bringing into this that do not belong? I write these down.
What can I do about the real situation? I make a list and a plan to do it.
What parts can I not control and need to let go of? I write these down and surrender them- sometimes I crumple that list up and toss it, sometimes I shred and sometimes I flush- depending upon my mood! It is just a symbolic way for me to let the parts I can not control go.
What can I focus on that is productive and really needs my attention OR who can I call to give me some perspective or to help me to laugh? Laughing always alleviates the heaviness of something that is bothering me.
What am I grateful for in my life right now? Focusing on what is good always outweighs what is seemingly wrong.
My tailspin rarely lasts longer than a couple of hours now- only prolonged by letting my mind run wild and not sitting down to answer the questions.
Lastly, I like to ask: what can I learn from the situation, even though pride can tug at me not wanting to ask it- it is hard to ask. Usually the answer is something that I needed to learn and I just don’t want to admit it!
Any thoughts out there?