Most of you reading this post are what you would consider free- you live in the place you want to live, you decide when and where you will go. You pretty much do what you want to do, and don’t do what we don’t want to do. Or at least you have the ability to do those things. But are you really free? Are you allowing yourself to be truly free?
As I ended the month of June I was thinking a lot about fear. I found myself contemplating a few choices that I had just made that didn’t make me very happy. I really sat and thought about them and what was at the root of them and what I found was fear. Pretty much unfounded fear running around unconsciously informing my decisions. This made me feel a little angry. Which was also a good emotion to sit with because as I contemplated this fear and then anger, a lot of answers (and a few new questions) started to arise.
The calendar turns to July today and my chosen theme for the month, freedom, takes on many meanings for me. It just happens to coincide with the month where Independence Day occurs- no mistake I am sure. I did not chose my theme for this month based on that, but going back to my core values and Core Desired Feelings from my Desire Map work- one word seemed to have the ability to transform the fears I was encountering- freedom.
Here’s a bit of what I have discovered that I am now working on. Let me just say that this work takes patience, time, new habits and ways of thinking have to take hold. Having awareness is the first step and that is where I am at.
1. Being attached to things and being afraid to lose things is not freedom.
2. The fear of missing out on something just takes you out of the present moment, which is perfect already.
3. You can’t always get a do over and operating out of fear may make you wish you could.
4. Allowing fear to inform your decisions, instead of trust and belief, is a sure recipe for regret.
5. Being afraid to look at things in a new way just causes you to miss out on what is perfect now.
And there are many more, but I’ll stop there for now.
One of my beliefs I proudly profess is this: I believe everything happens for a reason and I trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to.
So how did I get away from that kind of thinking when I was making my decisions? I let fear over shadow and I wasn’t conscious of the fear. So the gift in all of this is that I was able to experience something very sad for me in order to gain awareness for moving forward. I am refusing to stay stuck on feeling badly, even though I could see how easy it could be to do just that. I am no good to anyone in that place. But what I can do is learn from it and strengthen myself so that fear can take a back seat.
What surprised me most about fear is that in my case it was insidious. It was sneaky. It didn’t just announce itself.
So I challenge you today to look into the nooks and crannies- where is fear informing your decisions, your life?
Where do you stay because of fear?
What are you missing out on due to fear?
Where is fear keeping you from being really free and living the life you dream of?
Where is fear causing you to play small?
What about all of these fears is true and what are you purely making up with no real proof?
The things I was fearing were not true- I had made them up, “what if” style.
And what about freedom-
So what would it be like to be truly free?
Where is money holding you captive so that you are not free to live your life?
Where are old ways of thinking keeping you from being free and open minded?
How is not living freely hurting you- by this I mean, for example, how is not fully expressing yourself with your words, or your work, or with your interests even possibly making you physically ill? Further removing your freedom to live a beautiful life.
Take out your journal or some paper and pen and start to sketch out some thoughts. I am highlighting a lot of what looks negative, so I want to make sure to say- celebrate the great thinking patterns you have, those great habits that all help you to move past fears and live freely. Notice how far you have come in your life. Notice where fear could have ruled, but didn’t. Notice all of the ways you are living freely in your life and use that energy and power to infiltrated the nooks and crannies still left to be cleared out.
It takes time and patience, give yourself the gift of both. Living the life of your dreams and full freedom is worth it! You know it.
For me, freedom is about the spirit of letting things go, letting go of judgement and caring whether others are judging me or not, it’s speaking freely and not holding back. It’s trusting and believing. What is it for you?