This theme seems to be emerging all around me lately! I am seeing examples and practical applications everywhere- heck, I have heard myself say more than once this week “You don’t ask, you don’t get!” I did it again today at a fundraising meeting and then decided I wanted to write about this.
I have learned to be an advocate for myself, but it wasn’t always that way. A couple of weeks ago my daughter, age 13, got a great lesson and it was a great reminder for me. She is an HGTV nut and wants to be an interior designer. Last April we drove to Plymouth, MA just so that she could see the HGTV Green Home that she had studied so completely online. So completely, it would turn out, that she knew more about the home than the tour guides themselves. Fast forward to October- the exciting announement came- the HGTV Dream Home 2011 would be built in Stowe, VT- just about in our backyard! So, the process starts again, she studies every stick put into the house until the magic day finally arrives- the day they start giving tours.
We took her to see the home the very first weekend they opened. Our girl was ready, she had even watched the Rose Bowl Parade in it’s entirety so that she could see the float of the home (made out of flowers) followed by a two hour special tv tour of the home. We arrived a little early and had a chance to talk to the person checking people in. It came up quickly the reason we were there. Since viewing the Green Home and finding out about the Vermont location for the Dream Home, Rowan had set her sights on being a tour guide at the home. So, she asked! Or more like told the nice lady who was genuinely interested in Rowan’s story. “I want to be a tour guide.”
They said YES! So, here is her lesson. She could have been shy or felt “weird”, as we all do at times, and not said anything. She would not be giving tours if she had gone that route. They could have said no, and she would still not be giving tours. She would be no worse off than not asking at all. Afterall, they could have had some legitimate reasons for not saying yes, like they already have plenty of people to give the tours, for one. BUT she asked and they said YES! Asking opens the doors wide with possibility. (I will take this quick pause to really commend the people involved with the Dream Home because they are a really great group of people and have been professional and so enjoyable to deal with.)
My question to you is- where have you not been asking where a yes is possible? What have you been making up about possible outcomes that has no basis in reality and you are letting it hold you back? What’s the worst thing that can happen if you ask and get a no? Think of a time you asked for something and got it- get a clear picture of it. When you get ready to ask for something tell yourself “this time is just like that time”. Visualize the positive outcome.
It seems like we might have heard this a time or two before and maybe we just need a reminder every once and a while.
And just to tie this whole conversation up- I think there are times we are not meant to get a yes. The timing is not right, it is not the right thing for you, whatever the reason is. In the times you do not get a yes, look for what is perfect about that no or not yet. Use it as a time to explore further what you are wanting to do. I keep the age old belief- everything happens in the way it is supposed to happen. Looking for what is perfect can allow you to bounce back quickly and move forward- getting closer to the yes!