Everything about us is energy. Have you ever had a good day where there was a stream of good things that kept happening, one thing after another? Have you ever had a day where one not so great thing after another happened? Most of us have experienced both, at last once or twice! It has a lot to do with where your energy is at and what you are paying attention to. Noticing things that make you feel good, you see more proof of those things. Stub your toe, get angry and moving forward, if you are not aware, the next negative occurrence is waiting for you to notice it. It’s the vibe you are on.
Luckily, we can learn to be aware and though our first reaction will be what it is, we can notice it and go in a different direction if it supports us better.
One thing that seems to bother many people (and it did bother me for a long time) is the perception or reality that someone doesn’t like us. Maybe we actually did something that another person didn’t appreciate. More often than not, though, if someone doesn’t “like” us, it is an energy that they feel and it is personal to them. It most of the time says nothing about us personally. We have rarely done anything to warrant it.
People, all of us, make things up. They may think you don’t like them. It is something they create based on how they are feeling and what they are looking for. Unless, again, we have outright done something terrible, it’s a belief they are formulating. I have written about this before, and it has happened to me- once with a person I didn’t even know!
What can you control and what can you not control? You can’t make someone like us, nor should you bend and change yourself to get someone to like you. Not everyone is going to like you. Acceptance of this is a big leap. A bigger leap- being okay with that. People make up their own versions of you, their own stories about you that have nothing to do with you.
The most important thing you can ever do is to like yourself first and foremost. This is not egotistical, it is a feeling good within yourself about yourself. It is healthy. This energy is a great foundation for attracting the people who you want to attract and who you want to be in connection with. In his book “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, Because It Does” author Kamal Ravicant says “As you love yourself, life loves you back.”
Instead of working on, talking about and worrying about what others are thinking, take all of that time to pour into yourself. A few years ago a dear friend hurt me deeply with her words and actions. She was someone who I considered a friend at the highest level. Our friendship took a pause and I was not able to recover it from my end. The biggest challenge for me was that I began to question everything about myself- I was not loving, liking or caring for who I was and went into a tailspin for over a year in this mode. I let her words mean so much to me, as I trusted her so deeply- and I abandoned myself in the process. I forgot every good thing I knew about myself. The downside is that I let it affect what I believed I could and should do with my life in the world.
My gratitude now is the opportunity I received to really re-create a relationship with myself that is strong in self belief. I still have work to do and will continue, probably forever and with constant reminding- knowing and trusting myself helps me to be strong in having my own back, not being thrown by what others might think or say. It will even help me to consider the truth of what others think or say without going into a tailspin. The relationship will not recover, but the powerful learnings I have gained and the catalyst to do my inner work at a higher level are things I will always be grateful for.
Asking myself the tough questions is something I am embracing now – “When have I done this to someone? Where can I be more aware of my impact on others?” I am also thinking more clearly about how I might cut others slack instead of just letting them go. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I am making progress.
Biggest learning- I am not for everyone- and not everyone is for me! (in many ways!) (and it’s okay!) BUT I must be and will always be for myself. From this place of spiritual strength, I can do my best to be my best for everyone who’s path I cross.
To wrap up in the spirit of gratitude I have another idea. When I feel negative feelings toward someone, I can look, on purpose, for something about them that I can be grateful for. In this way, I can be spreading goodness instead of resentment or any other bad energy.
How will you use what you just read? What is one way you will integrate action on these thoughts into your life today?