Making decisions can be so difficult. I am an over thinking by nature and it was only getting worse as I got older. I took more chances, was more bold in my earlier years, before having kids especially and before challenging life circumstances shook me to my core. If I did make decisions after that, they were safe ones.
When 2020 removed most choices, I was actually relieved.
I have been grateful over the years to learn this one important question that I ask myself constantly: “What is the next right step to take?”
This came up strong the other day in a conversation with someone who was predicting if they took this particular action this particular thing would happen next. Then this next thing would happen and five more steps down the road. The truth was that they didn’t know what the truth would be! None of us do. Predicting is just making things up, which doesn’t serve us very well.
The next time you are struggling with what to do just ask yourself “what would be the next best, right step I could take?” You might even make a list of possibilities. The right step may be discussing it with someone, it might be research, it might be a pros and cons list, it might be praying, or writing about it. Taking a step puts you in action and from that place things can unfold. This question has helped me to get unstuck so many times.
In this case the person in the discussion with me was thinking they had to make a decision for someone else. They were trying to control the course of events based on what they thought would happen if the other person got to decide for themselves. When we decide as our first decision to allow others to be in charge of their own fate, it gives us freedom. It doesn’t mean that we aren’t there to help them if they need it, and most importantly ASK FOR IT!
When I asked the person how they would feel it the shoe were on the other foot, the answer became crystal clear. Their action became a non action. To wait and see. Non action is an action.
We put ourselves through needless suffering when we are trying to predict the future. This month, practice just doing the next right thing, and trust that the next step will reveal itself when you do. Keep “what-ifs” to a minimum and learn to recognize when you are in that mode out of fear instead of thinking about the first, best step to take.