I got it backward.
Last month the habit I was working on was unconditional self love. I few things in life had happened in previous months that helped me forget what was good about me and had left me depleted. I needed to embark on a mission to regain myself to my fullest- nurturing and nourishing were needed big time!
As it turns out, unconditional love is hard enough to muster toward the world, let along toward yourself. It is a worthy ideal, but a tall order. And my belief is that it is nearly, if not totally, impossible to give to the world without giving it to yourself first.
Breaking old habits of thought and action take time- and not treating yourself in the best way possible- loving yourself in every instance, it takes time.
That was in March. This month’s habit is gentleness with myself- in thought, word and action. About mid month I realized that practicing gentleness first would have been a great foundation for moving toward self unconditional love. I am not holding it against myself, though!
We could all treat ourselves with a little more gentleness. Through the lens of gentleness, everything takes on a different hue. How could I be more gentle in all of the areas of my life? I asked myself this question working my way though each area.
I looked up some of the words in the definition of the word gentle: not severe, rough or violent. It is kind, amiable. It turns out that not treating yourself kindly, including the mental beating up we do to ourselves about the myriad of things we do “wrong” is doing violence to yourself. Some other words- moderate, gradual, easily handled or managed, soft, polite, refined.
A quote I saw last week- and I do not know who to attribute it to- is was perfectly timed.
To be gentle takes great strength.
Where could you be more gentle in your treatment of yourself?
Could it be in the foods you eat, the type of exercise you are doing, the amount of rest you are getting? Could it be in the number of expectations you have of yourself? Could it be in the type of expectations you have of yourself?
Try an experiment for a week- let gentleness rule and pass every decision you make for yourself – your time, your actions, your agreements, your thoughts – pass all of it through the question- how would this look differently if I were being gentle with myself.
Living your ideal life takes effort, it is not easy- it takes you being strong on your own behalf. Treating yourself kindly may mean saying no to others, and no to things you like- that is not easy. Keeping the big picture- that is so important.
My last word (for today!) on this is that there is a season for everything. If this is a season in which you needed to hear this, then this was for you! If not, what thoughts does this post bring up for you that help you to enjoy your life and business even more?
**The first thing coaching does is it helps you to locate clarity. Where are you in the areas of your life? We all need tools, support and even a coaching staple- accountability to achieve our highest and best in our lives. If you are curious about how coaching might positively impact your life, contact me. Kimberlydubrul.com**