Because of vacation, I only have a few short weeks to do the topic of mindset justice, so I am going to dig right in! I have been talking about mindset for so long that it is no longer about skimming the surface for me. It is digging deep into the stuff that holds us all back from living our most optimal lives.

What you think about most of the time will become your reality- it is a sure bet.

When we allow ourselves the unchecked pleasure of focusing on what we perceive to be wrong, negative, hopeless, we reinforce those things as the truth. The flip side of that is also true. We have all heard about people who believe something that just doesn’t seem possible and it happens just the way they hoped it would.

(Of course, mindset is necessary, but just part of the picture. Taking positive actions toward your vision is equally important- they go together.)

Back to mindset- what I see most often, and I have certainly done my share of this myself- is making things up. When something has happened and we are in a negative frame of mind we can start a domino effect of making stuff up that isn’t true. One of my favorite questions to ask myself and my clients: “Is it true?” and “How do you know it’s true?”

With a focused mindset we can create our own reality, one that supports us and leads us in the direction of living our best lives.

Making stuff up can look like this. Let’s say I am having an “off” time in my life, just feeling dissatisfied with myself and what my life looks and feels like to me. I start to look around and see proof of reasons I should feel this way. I might notice that I am not getting the attention from someone that I really want it from. I might start to make things up like they don’t love me, I must have offended them (I have done this one in my past), they don’t care and so on. All of which may be true, but more than likely are not true. Once again, if I don’t have proof, I get to choose whether or not to accept that belief as true, or not.

There is a term called projection- we project how we are feeling onto others and it has nothing to do with them.

Having this “off” mindset will cloud up every area of your life. Staying in this place, mindset wise, is also very unhealthy- body, mind and spirit.

Once I decide to think otherwise- they do love me, they are just busy, I haven’t done anything to offend them, that I know of so it can not be that, they care about me and they have a life, too, I can begin to have some peace. The “off” mindset can make you really “me” focused, self centered, victim- it is hard in this mindset to think about what might be going on for someone else and how not everything is about you.

Here are some mindsets that I have worked with-

-not being offended by what others do or say. Unless they tell me directly, I am only making things up about the meaning these things.

-realizing that I am not responsible for anyone else’s happiness, but my own.

-looking for the good, or silver lining in things that are happening that appear to be other than what I would deem “good”

-the mindset that I am stuck and not having the answer for what is my next right step.

-a mindset that stops you from seeing your own good

-a mindset that allows you to be authentically you

-a mindset of courage

-the I’m not capable or worthy or good enough or _____________ fill in the blank, mindsets.

I could keep going. The truth is that mindset challenges come and go- they never disappear, they take on new levels as you evolve.

One mindset that has really helped me in my life to that things are happening for me and not to me– so that when I am presented with inner or outer challenges, I can look at it as an opportunity to find out what I am made of and how I can get myself back on track. You are your own experiment.

Next week I am going to write about the old stories and beliefs that cloud our mindsets. In the meantime- please feel free to write to me to let me know about the mindsets you are working on or have worked with.