Permission. We were trained to think we needed it.

Okay. We DID need it at one time. If not just for our own safety.

Think about this- as we grow up, one of the first things we learn to do is to ask for permission- even before we can talk. This becomes so deeply ingrained in us, it is a behavior we continue, many times, long after it is necessary. It is so subconscious that we don’t think about it, maybe until now!

Think about what you are still asking for permission for. There  is a fine line between courtesy and asking for permission. Giving yourself permission goes hand and hand with authenticity.

Speaking your truth. Engaging in the activities that you want to engage in. Having your own opinion. Doing what you want to do.

Maybe it is your spouse who you look for permission from. Maybe it is approval of others you seek to feel you have permission to do or say what you want to.

Where are you holding yourself back? Where are you looking for and waiting for permission from someone else?

Some are still hoping to gain the approval and permission from a parent- some who have long since passed.

Is it time to give yourself permission? To grant yourself your permission?

Fill this sentence in, as many times as you want to- right now. Get paper and do it now.

I give myself permission to____________________________.

Over and over and over.

Brene Brown calls this writing yourself a permission slip. You know, like when you wanted to go to the bathroom in 4th grade, or needed to go to the nurse, or wanted to go on a field trip. Without the permission slip, you went nowhere fast.

How is this still playing out in your life now? Waiting for written or verbal permission to move forward. How about using the solid internal programming to your advantage? Start writing yourself permission slips! I love the idea.

The truth is, now that you are an adult, there is only one person who can give you permission and that is YOU! Yes, there are rules to follow in our world. That is different than getting permission to make your own decisions, to decide yes, you are good enough, thank you. No one else has to give you permission.

If you don’t like something, you can give yourself permission to not do it, eat it, go there, engage in it.

If you don’t want something, you can give yourself permission to turn it down.

If you DO want something, you can give yourself permission to ask for it, or go get it.

Just think about this idea. Take out your journal and write about the ways in your life you might be asking for permission from others where you didn’t even realize that is what you are doing. Once you start the process you will become way more aware of this, and you might be very surprised at what you start to realize.

It takes courage to make deep changes like this. You are no longer the little girl or boy who needs permission.

“Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to be our brave authentic selves – to be brave and afraid at the same time.”       Brené Brown

Be kind to yourself in the process. And be kind to the others who are used to you asking for their permission, as you unwind this behavior. That is if you want to keep these relationships! Grace, peace and gentleness in the process.