August is all about the YES in my world, and if you choose to follow along, you may never look at your “yeses” quite the same way again!

I am also on month two of building resilience. When you say the right yeses for you, your resilience will build as you create more energy in your life by agreeing to what resonates with who you truly are.

Each week in August I will offer a different aspect of saying yes for you to consider.

To kick us off, I want to start with discussing the inauthentic yes. Which to me, is the opposite of the right yes.

The inauthentic yes is the one we say when we are going along with the crowd, when we don’t want to rock the boat or are not brave enough to stand out. It is the one we say when we want to “win” or be leading or holding a prestigious title or role, and we do it out of unconscious (or sometimes conscious) reasons that do not reflect who we truly are.

We “think” we need to be #1 or hold the top role to prove something. But what are we trying to prove? What really matters?

The best way to know if this is you is to ask yourself if you feel truly happy, thriving, connected within your own body, mind and spirit when you get those things. Chances are, if you feel restless or dissatisfied with yourself, you may have said yes to the wrong thing(s).

For instance, have you ever been in a meeting when everyone was saying yes because it is what the leader wanted, you had a different idea or opinion, but you agreed with everyone else anyway?

Have you ever worked for a boss where the unspoken rule is everyone must agree with her, so even if you can see a better way, you just go along with it?

Have you ever been that person so that you could get that next prestigious role and climb the ladder?

What are you afraid will happen to you and your life if you decide to speak authentically and decide not to just say yes?

If you sometimes hear yourself say an inauthentic yes (and we all have), what are your reasons for doing it?

No judgement, just ask yourself:

What is important about that?

What do I hope to gain?

Am I being true to myself?

Is my spirit intact?

I will repeat- please do not judge yourself. If you desire real growth you are going to have to gentle with yourself. If you can admit that you have had ulterior motives for saying yes to things that go beyond what you actually feel and believe (we all have), that may be hard to do.

Thank goodness we can do hard things! In fact, we MUST do hard things if we hope to evolve and become the best version of who we were made to be.

There has never been a better time than the crazy turned upside down year of 2020 to tackle some of these things, to decide who you really want to be and what you want to stand for.

To start asking- what is the right yes for you?  And to start discovering what it can mean to you to start building courage and trust in what you are capable of .

You can do hard things.  Saying the right yes for you might be hard, but you soon discover a whole other world you were meant for on the other side of it.

Here’s your coaching homework-

Think about where in your past you have said yes when it wasn’t what you really believed. Write down the instances- apply the questions above to the situations and write down your answers.

Answer in writing:

Keeping your true self in mind, if you were not afraid, what would you do differently in the future?

What can you do starting today to build your confidence, increasing your ability to say the right yeses for you?