I shared in my newsletter this week that my son is my biggest teacher in the area of presence. We all have a lot going on and going through our heads and can get easily distracted.
Recently I heard someone who was 70 reflecting that if they live to be 100, they have maybe 30 holiday seasons to enjoy, 30 more summers, etc. This got me thinking. Time goes by so fast- one thing I know that slows time down, at least some, is being present. Soaking things in and not missing the. This is where my son comes in.
My mind is often thinking about what comes next. I have immense gratitude that my son is willing to share in detail with me about things going on in his life. There are a fair amount of times I might only be hearing half of what he is saying because my mind is 10 steps ahead or I might be doing something while listening, or start doing something while listening- all things that steal my presence. This happens with me and lots of different circumstances, but he is willing to call me on it. You’ve got to love a person has his own back and wants to be heard- and will make sure it happens. He calls me back into presence. I am practicing and getting better. I am working on not jumping in with my thoughts and questions- both of which require not listening- and letting him finish is telling, letting him feel heard
I spend a fair amount of time in the future- planning, thinking, strategizing, orchestrating. There was a season of life that my mind was spending a lot of time in the past. It’s interesting to recognize these things. Where do you spend most of your time?
There is a good reason for all- learning from the past, but not dwelling there, planning for the future, but getting grounded and taking actions in the here and now.
Presence is a gift. To the person(s) you are with, to yourself in really being able to absorb and enjoy or be clear and respond in the best way possible. Presence leads to better decisions. Presence leads to not missing things and not missing out.
This is a call, once again, for the next few weeks until the end of the year- clear your plate and mind. What are the very few, essential things to be thinking about? Put the rest on a written list and put the list away until January. Clean up the house and other spaces- give things away, put things away. Who do you really want to spend time with in the next few weeks- the essential list. How can you just be focused on them when you are with them?
When you get the very most important priorities done, you can relax and just be present.
Whether I have 30, 40 or 50 holiday seasons left, I want to be fully immersed in each one. Listen to those talking, notice those lights, delight in seeing dogs being delighted by snow, and kids being delighted by the season, noticing those who could use your support and gaining the wherewithal to take action. That is all rooted in presence.
Take care of yourself- move, eat well, get rest- if you’re not feeling great, it’s hard to be present. Uplift yourself and your mood so that you can be uplifting to others. It is well worth the effort.
What is your first step toward greater presence?